


The Secret Life of Carly Shay

by look at the stars



Category: iCarly
Genre: Angst, Drama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2009-08-26
Updated: 2011-07-21
Packaged: 2013-09-16 13:15:55
Rating: T
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,405
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5334397/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/936991/look-at-the-stars
Summary: The more pictures she took and sent, the prettier she felt. She didn't know how this guy she'd never met could make her feel so beautiful. Carly centric fic about the dangers of growing up online.





	1. Chapter One

**Summary:** _The more pictures she took and sent, the prettier she felt._ _She didn't know how this guy she'd never met could make her feel so beautiful  
_Carly centric fic about the dangers of growing up online.

* * *

Carlotta Raven Shay had always prided herself on being a good girl. She got good grades, maintained a healthy body weight, had a loving older brother to take care of her while their father was away, and was the star of a popular web show with her two best friends Samantha Puckett and Fredward Benson.

She had a good head on her shoulders. She knew right from wrong. She knew what people expected of her and what she expected of herself. She knew the good and the bad about the internet. She'd seen Hoprah and Mya Banx on tv talking about how young girls were being exposed to sex at early ages through the internet and she always sat back and judged because she knew she'd never be that kind of girl. She was too pretty and innocent to ever get wrapped up into the internet in that way. She had her clean web show and that was that. She never talked to people online unless they were sane fans of iCarly or she knew them from school. Creating an alter ego online was something Sam would do just for the hell of it, just because she was badass. Carly wasn't badass or anything like that. She was a naive teenage girl who sometimes felt insecure.

And that's where Raven was born.

Raven was edgy, sexy and everything Carly wasn't. She was confident, a sex kitten and could get any guy she wanted. Raven was the eighteen year old alter ego of the sixteen year old Carly. Raven didn't doubt her good looks, she knew she was hott. She was a bit goth, not all girly and punk like Carly was. She knew how to cyber, and how to keep boys wrapped around her finger. Raven wasn't afraid of exposing herself for anyone. She was a daredevil, she was badass; she wasn't the innocent little Carly.

-------------

"Hey, Freddie." Carly sat beside him on the couch and handed him a cup of fruit punch. "Can I ask you something?"

It was just the two of them there, with Spencer in the bathroom taking a shower, and she knew Freddie wouldn't try anything. "Sure, anything Carly."

She squirmed in her seat before placing her cup on the table. "Be honest, Freddie. If you didn't have such a big crush on me, would you think I was pretty?"

Freddie stared at Carly like she'd lost her mind. "Carly, you're very pretty! How could you not think otherwise?"

"Well, I don't know. I've noticed how you look at Sam nowadays and-"

"I do not like Sam! She's a blue eyed devil." Freddie sighed and pat Carly's shoulder. "You're beautiful. Did someone say something to you," he asked, his voice getting a bit deeper.

Carly shrugged and avoided his gaze. "No, nothing like that. I just-I don't know. Guys don't really like me and, well, I don't know why I'm telling you this stuff." She laughed nervously.

Freddie noticed that Carly hadn't been herself for weeks. She was always doubting herself and sometimes she barely seemed there during their web show. She'd distanced herself from Sam and was now always dependent on him for advice and always asking him if she was pretty. "It's fine, really. I'll always be there for you. Even if we'll just be friends and nothing more." He heard a knock at the door then his mom's frantic voice reminding him to take a tick bath. "Hey, I gotta go. Thanks for the punch." He got up while Carly watched him. He could see the sorrow in her eyes. "Just visit or text if you need me." Carly forced a smile and hugged him, noticing how he spelled of anti-tick lotion and cologne. She then surprised them both by kissing his cheek before walking him to the door.

With Freddie gone, Carly was left alone in her thoughts. She could sense that Freddie was suspecting something. She couldn't keep going to him for advice when she had Sam as a friend. Well, she kinda had Sam as a friend. They hadn't been on good terms since Carly got jealous of her going on a date with Griffin. Carly didn't really have feelings for him but he was her first real boyfriend. She couldn't believe that he found aggresive Sam more attractive. Or maybe he thought she was easier, she thought as she remembered how furious Sam got when Carly told her that Griffin just wanted to sleep with her. She went on and on about how Carly should be happy for her and that maybe Gibby would date her to which Carly rolled her eyes and told Sam to forget it but the blonde wouldn't. The final straw was when she told Carly that Freddie didn't want her anymore.

"Hey, kiddo. Whatcha doing just sitting there? I thought Freddo was here." Spencer jogged into the kitchen, shirtless and covered in lotion for whatever reason.

"Oh, yeah," Carly said, still lost in her thoughts. She was unconciously twirling her a lock of her hair. "He left to take a tick bath."

Spencer nodded as he opened the fridge. "So, invite Sam over. I haven't seen her in a while."

Carly didn't get why Spencer kept bugging her about Sam but they had been friends for eight years and she guessed he was just used to her. "Maybe later. I'm gonna go do some homework upstairs."

Before Spencer could say anything, she bolted up the stairs to the iCarly studio. She didn't know how she felt, she just knew that there was a ball of energy in her that needed an outlet. She slowly picked up her laptop and logged onto Wahoo!, looking to see who was online to alleviated her boredom and anxiety. She felt as if Freddie, Sam and Spencer didn't get what she was going through. She didn't even know what she was going through. She just knew that she hated not feeing pretty enough for Griffin or Freddie or any other guy while Sam was starting to get more attention than her.

She was just about to turn off the laptop when she saw that someone had IMed her. 'Hey gorgeous'

Bewildered, Carly almost didn't reply right away. She saw the pic that showed in the box beside the typing area. It wasn't her best pic but she still thought it looked pretty good. 'Hi, who is this?'

'Nathaniel. You're hott'

'Thanks, :)'

'So you single?'

Carly smiled despite herself. She was feeling better already.

'Yeah. Only 16, can't date yet'

'Bummer, babe. I'd date you'

'Thanks...how old are you?'

The guy was hesitant to reply and five minutes passed before he answered. '18, why?'

'Oh, jw.'

'Where you from, honey?'

Why was this random guy calling her all these pet names, Carly wondered as she replied. 'Seattle. I have a web show.'

'Carly Shay?!'

'Yea, hi.'

'Wanna see my dick?'

Carly gasped at his pervertedness. 'Ew, no. Go away, bye!' Instead of blocking him or signing out, she waited to see what he'd say.

'You ugly bitch, bye.' He then signed out.

Carly sat there confused. She then realized that she didn't even know what he looked like or how he got her username. She wondered if she should tell Spencer about the guy but decided against it. She was a big girl and there was no real harm done. It wasn't like he called her ugly because she was, right? It had to be because she said no to seeing him expose himself, she thought but in the back of her mind she felt like the ugly bitch that he said she was.

* * *

**Hope you like it! This is based on what some girls go through online like taking naked pictures and online dating.  
I would've had Sam as the main character but I like good girl Carly having flaws. Raven comes about in later chapters.  
**


	2. Chapter Two

Carly was frustrated. She had nothing to wear to school, or at least it seemed like she didn't. She wanted an attention grabbing outfit that would finally give her male attention from someone other than Freddie or Gibby. Although she felt herself liking Freddie, a combination of not having options and not wanting to lose him to Sam, she wanted other guys to think she was pretty too. Ever since that Nathaniel jerk shattered her self esteem online, Carly felt desperate to feel pretty one way or the other. Sighing, she found a black ballerina type skirt and paired it with a red plaid tshirt. She reached for her combat boots but decided to wear her ballerina flats instead, wanting to show more skin. She looked kind of gothic in her opinion, but decided she was kinda pretty. As she stared at herself in the bathroom mirror, she smiled liking what she saw. Her hair was wavy and fell just above her breasts that were starting to become more pronounced. Sam would be so jealous, Carly thought to herself as she walked downstairs to wake up Spencer.

**---------**

Her day couldn't have started off worse. Not only did no one compliment her outfit when she walked into school, she found Freddie talking to Sam by her locker. When she approached them, Sam just smirked and told Freddie she'd talk to him later. Her blonde hair was straight and she was wearing a really cute floral dress with flip flops. Since _when_ did Sam wear dresses and _when _did she wear them with flip flops?! Carly watched Sam walk away before turning towards Freddie, hoping he would tell her how beautiful he thought she was. Instead he leaned against Sam's locker and watched the blonde walk away before Carly got his attention.

"Freddie!" Carly took off her bookbag and began to put her locker combination in. "What the hell was that?"

"What are you talking about, Carls. We were just talking. She's my friend too, ya know." Freddie sighed and finally turned to look at Carly. "You look different. Change your hair?"

Carly rolled her eyes. "My hair is the same and Sam is my friend, not yours. You two hate each other, remember?" She felt her face getting hot and knew her cheeks were a little pink but she didn't care. She wanted Freddie to love her like he used to. What did Sam have that she didn't?

"What's your deal? I _don't_ like Sam, trust me. And I don't hate her anymore, she's kinda cool." Freddie looked around before checking his watch. "Hey, the bell's gonna ring in a bit. Want me to wait for you?"

"Don't bother. Go be friends with Sam." Carly put her textbooks in her locker and slammed it shut. The bell rang and she groaned, rolling her eyes as she felt Freddie grabbing her arm.

"I can be friends with you and Sam, Carly. I don't get why you two are still fighting. It's like you both don't care about iCarly anymore." Freddie sighed and took Carly's hand in his own. "Look, how about we all meet up afterschool at the Groovy Smoothie? I hate seeing best friends fight."

Carly looked at Freddie's hand holding hers and smiled. So he does still like me, she thought. "Okay, Freddio, I'll be there." Freddie smiled and walked off, leaving Carly to watch him walk away.

"Hey, Carly, you're gonna be late," Gibby said as he rushed past her.

"Shut up and go to class, Gibby," she yelled at him before stomping off.

Gibby looked at her walk away with a look of shock. "Geez, what's _her_ deal?"

**----------**

As her teacher went on and on about some scientific crap she didn't care about, Carly began doodling in her notebook. 'Freddie and Carly 4ever' She smiled and then erased it, feeling weird that she actually found Freddie cute. Now that she thought about it, he had a boyish cute smile and looked really nice in polos. He said he'd always be there for her and even though it'd been three years since he proclaimed his love for her, he was still by her side no matter what. Maybe she could give him a chance and they'd live happily ever after, leaving Sam in the dust. Sam, who wore stupid floral dresses and dated Griffin. The same Sam she envied for being prettier. The same Sam that she found herself being attracted to once upon a time ago.

"Carly, you want to answer the question?"

She snapped out of her thoughts and looked up at the board wide-eyed. "Sure, but I-uh-don't know the answer."

Mr. Gordon sighed and wrote the answer on the board. "Now pay attention, Shay. Your grades are slipping." He then turned back to the board and began talking some more.

"Mr. Gordon is a fucking idiot," she heard a voice whisper to her. Then she remembered that Sam was in her science class and sat beside her. "I'm failing too so don't worry bout it."

"Thanks, Sam," Carly whispered back. She still envied her but her and Sam were friends. If Sam wanted Griffin, or any other boy Carly may have wanted it was fine. As long as Freddie could be hers. "You look really pretty today."

Sam smiled and rolled her eyes. "Mom made me wear this. It's Melanie's stupid dress," she whispered back to Carly. Both girls laughed and all was forgotten. They were best friends again.

'Groovy Smoothie afterschool w/Freddie?' Carly wrote on a piece of paper that she passed to Sam. Her friend nodded and wrote back 'I ain't paying.'

**---------**

"He had to sneeze cheese for weeks," Sam said while stifling laughs. "It was so gross, man, but hilarious too."

Carly and Freddie laughed and almost choked on their smoothies. The gang was back together and everything seemed fine.

"Wow, Sam, he must've really pissed you off."

"Uh, duh! No one touches my thigh without permission. You know that Freddie."

Freddie blushed and Sam bit her lip like she shouldn't have said that. Carly looked at them both and sensed that they were hiding something from her. "You guys, what's up? Why the silent treatment?"

Freddie coughed a sipped some of his smoothie. Sam just shrugged before answering. "Nothing, just something that happened," she kind of mumbled.

"Are you two dating?!" Carly felt that her eyes would explode at any second and fall on the table. She was already upset over the internet guy and the fact that no one found her to be pretty today and now her friends hide something from her. "C'mon, tell me!"

"We went on a date, that's it. Nothing serious."

"But Freddie, you're supposed to like me! And Sam, you're with Griffen or some other boy." Carly crossed her arms and pouted. She felt like a little brat but she was unbelievably pissed. Just when her and Sam are getting to be friends again, she goes and dates Freddie behind her back.

"Carly, I don't like Sam like that. I just-you were being all needy and Sam wasn't so I asked her out. I didn't think she'd say yes. Besides, it meant nothing."

Sam sighed and looked at Freddie before turning to Carly. "We just kissed, that's all, and it was horrible. I'm not into Freddork that way. He's not over you and I'm not over Griffin."

"Oh, so you think you can steal Griffin **AND** Freddie?!"

Freddie slapped his forehead. "Carly, what's the matter with you? We're all just friends okay? I don't really like any girls right now and if I did, it wouldn't be the one who beats me up all the time."

Sam laughed and smacked Freddie hard. "See, we don't like each other at all. It was a one time thing. Calm down, girl."

Carly was fuming. She felt so ugly and unwanted. Not one guy at the Groovy Smoothie had looked at her like they were looking at Sam and Freddie _didn't_ like her like she thought he did. "Freddie, you said you loved me!"She got up and grabbed her smoothie. "I can't believe you guys. Sam's getting prettier than me and Freddie, you think I'm a needy whore!"

Freddie gasped in shock. "You're not a whore, Carls. What the fuck?"

But Carly didn't hear him. She was already walking out of the shop with a plan forming.

A plan involving the wonderful world of the internet.


	3. Chapter Three

"So, that was our new bit we'd like to call 'Don't Sniff The Fruit Salad,' Carly and Sam yelled in unison before dancing randomly. The Groovy Smoothie incident had been forgotten when Carly apologized, making Sam and Freddie promise not to hide any more secrets from her.

"Hey, Sam?"

"Yeah, Carls?"

Carly smirked and turned toward Sam. "Ever wonder who would look sexier in a bikini?" She watched as Sam's face took on a bewildered expression. "Here at iCarly we are always looking for new ideas and a certain male fan emailed us and asked the following question." She pulled out a piece of paper from her pocket and opened it, showing the camera the question. "Hey, Carly and Sam, which one of you would look hotter half naked," she read, smiling.

Sam and Freddie shared a look and Sam looked back at Carly. "Um, that's a little not appropriate don't ya think Carly?" She was getting uncomfortable.

"Oh, please, Sam! I think that we should give our viewers a little peek show if they want." Carly put her hands on her hips and pouted. "Don't you wanna see me half naked Freddie?" Her voice took a heavier, sexier tone when she asked him.

Freddie's cheeks turned bright red and laughed nervously. "Uh, how about we do the wig bit? Haven't seen that in a while."

Sam agreed and nodded, going over to get the wigs. "Yeah, let's keep the show kid friendly."

"You two are such prudes," she said teasingly before going behind a curtain she'd placed by the window. Freddie turned the camera towards Sam who looked just as confused as he was. "Ta da!" Carly emerged wearing a string bikini with cherries all over it. She had a sucker in her hand and licked it before walking over to Sam. "So, iCarly viewers, if you think I look the sexiest in a bikini vote now. Til next time, see ya!"

Carly began to dance, smiling and shaking her sucker in the air until she heard the door to the studio slam shut.

"And we're clear," she heard Freddie's voice say. He put the camera down and she looked at him wide eyed.

"What's her deal?"

Freddie rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "Carly, what the hell has gotten into you? You know my mom watches this show, she's gonna kill me!"

She walked over to Freddie and put her hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Freddie. I just, I wanted to feel prettier than Sam and- Nevermind, you're just gonna think I'm a needy whore for this."

"What?! Carly, you're my friend. And so is Sam. There is no competition for my heart. I care about you both."

Carly removed her hand and put her hands on her hips. "Competition? I-you think-Oh, c'mon, Freddie. I don't like you that way, you know that."

"Oh really," Freddie uncrossed his arms and leaned her up against his cart. "So, you haven't been dressing up to impress me, you just embarrassed yourself for the fun of it?"

"Embarrassed myself? I think I look pretty good okay? The viewers will vote, you'll see. You and Sam both." She pinched Freddie's arm and walked off to find Sam. When she reached the bottom of the stairs, she saw Sam and Spencer on the couch talking. Sam was leaning against Spencer and for a second, Carly swore she saw her brother kiss her friend's head. Shocked, she walked slowly back upstairs.

**---------  
**

Carly tossed and turned that night, unable to fall asleep. She kept thinking about what Freddie had said to her and how hurt Sam had looked that she'd went through with the viewer's request. She felt bad, just a little.

Sam went on a date and kissed her Freddie. Sam dated Griffin and still wasn't over him. Freddie didn't want her anymore.

She didn't feel pretty, she didn't feel anything. She was just alive, living this routine called her life. If her mom were still alive, she'd know what to do but she wasn't. Carly wasn't about to bother her granddad over this either, and she definitely wouldn't dream of telling her father. The only person she really could trust was Spencer at the moment but he was always away and when he wasn't, he was nagging her about Sam and all these other girls she got tired of hearing about. She also hated the lecture he'd given her about her little 'strip tease' on iCarly and how lucky she was that granddad hadn't seen it.

Rolling onto her back, she looked up at the ceiling. She had school the next morning and but she didn't want to go. She had a science test to take and she didn't study. Her grades were slipping and Spencer wasn't disciplining her like he should for it. It was like no one cared. She sighed and shut her eyes, trying to let sleep take over.

Eventually it did

---------

"Hey, Carly, looking good girl!"

Carly turned around and smiled. She didn't even know the guy but he looked cute and he thought she did too. "Thanks," she said meekly while blushing. She headed to her locker and saw Sam there. "Hey, ready for our test?"

"Don't talk to me, Shay," came Sam's voice filled with rage.

"Sam, I'm sorry. It's not that big a deal."

"Not that big a deal?!" Sam slammed her locker shut and stared at Carly, wanting to punch her lights out. "You pranced around on iCarly like a slut and you say it's no big deal?"

Carly gasped and took offense. "I'm a slut? You're the one with a new boyfriend every minute. I'm still a virgin, Sam!" She took her book bag off and began entering her locker combination when she saw that Sam was still standing there. "What?"

"I don't know who you are anymore, Carly. Why do you keep hurting me?" Sam's voice took a hurt tone to it.

"Because every guy li-"

"Damn, Carly. Hook a brotha up on the real tip," Reuben said as he passed by. "Oh, hey Sam."

Carly couldn't hide her smile as she tried to reason with Sam. "Because, I still liked Griffin and you dated him anyway. Then I find out you went on a date with Freddie and kissed him when we both know he loves me."

"Get out of your little fantasy, Carls. Freddie's moved on. I'm sick of it always being about you." Sam picked her book bag up and began to walk away before stopping. "You never ask how I feel or if I need any advice. This is all about you and I'm just not important anymore. Oh and when you're really sorry, you know where to find me."

Carly fought back tears as she got books out of her locker. "This is such bullshit," she whispered to herself as the bell rang. "Ah fuck it!" She put her books back and slammed her locker shut. She couldn't take it anymore. She was tired of being good girl Carly Shay.

"Hey, Freddie, you going to class?"

He stopped and looked at her confused. "Of course, why wouldn't I be? Oh no, don't tell me they put Gibby on the flagpole again."

She laughed and bit her lip. "No, silly. I'm gonna skip today. You wanna come?"

"Uh, Carly, I can't. My mom's already pissed about our last web show." He looked around before seeing Harper come around the corner. "Um, get Harper to skip with you."

Harper's eyes widened and shook his head. "Nah, I got a huge test in Mrs. Hargrove's class and I don't wanna be late." He took off running upstairs, stopping when he reached the top. "Oh, and Carly, you looked good on the show yesterday."

Carly thanked him and giggled before turning to Freddie. "Fine, go to class, nerd. I'll be out doing whatevs."

With that, she walked out of school and took off running, hoping the people she passed didn't notice she was crying.


	4. Chapter Four

It was a bit chilly outside but that wasn't unusual. Carly tossed her book bag on the park bench and sat down, her head resting on her knees. It felt like her whole world was falling apart. Freddie, her comfort blanket, was now branching out and being his own person. He was no longer a love sick 'Carly Shay' fanatic and it hurt. It hurt down to her core for reasons she wouldn't admit.

She was just _used _to him. He'd always been there for her and she'd assumed that'd never change. But it did change, and the change happened fast. Before she knew it, Freddie was more interested in other girls than her. Girls like Sam, Wendy and even Shannon. Carly wasn't even sure he was still a virgin at this point. If he and Sam could hide their kiss from her, imagine what else they'd hide.

She sat there, letting the wind blow the curls out of her hair, thinking. She thought about school, about Spencer, and her parents. She thought about Sam and how she'd fallen for bad boy Griffin after Carly had given her the okay. Carly still liked Griffin, just a little, but it still hurt that her own best friend would date her ex. Carly didn't even think twice about Jonah when Sam got through with him. A part of her wanted to, just to piss everyone off, just to prove she could be evil and a bitch too. A part of her felt like being bad. She was already skipping class. Why not kick it up a notch?

Carly got up and was about to walk to Groovy Smoothie, knowing some college kids hung out there around this time, when she saw a boy approaching her. He was wearing a black t-shirt and dark denim jeans paired with black Converses. Griffin.

"Hey, Shay, shouldn't you be in school like a good little girl," his menacing voice taunted her. "You don't want your big brother to save you again do ya?"

The way he was talking to her, like she was some kid, like she was a stupid little girl, pissed her off. She was sixteen for freaks sake. She could hold her own without Spencer, without Sam and Freddie.

Rolling her eyes and hitching her tote bag up to her shoulder, she scowled at him. Him with his bad boy exterior and PeeWee baby loving interior. "Don't you have another TeeWee baby to collect?" She knew she'd said it wrong and she knew it'd piss him off.

"Whatever, you're just mad I left you for Sam."

"Wha- You didn't leave me for Sam! I left you, ya PeeWee Baby loving jerk. Go burn down a church or something 'bad boy'!" She began to storm off, not knowing where she was going anymore, just knowing it was to get away from him. "And ya know what," she screamed, turning to face him, "you're not so bad after all. You ain't bad, you ain't nothin!"

Griffin ran to catch up with her, stopping her by grabbing at her waist. "What's your damage? You're the one who's acting like a bitch about the PeeWee babies. Geez, Carly. Sam called and told me what happened between you two. Are you _that _in love with me still?"

She was growing annoyed with him. She didn't want him back. If she did, it would only be to piss off Sam and hurt Freddie and she had different ways to go about that. "Griffin, look, I'm sorry for being a bitch but I'm really stressed out and-"

"Stressed out? What, your nail polish chip off or something?" His eyes were staring into her soul, like they always did and she almost felt bad for him. He didn't want to be a jerk to her, she'd made him that way by always teasing him and being a bitch. "Don't worry your pretty little head, Carly. Girls like you don't get stressed out. You just go around looking pretty and getting things your way."

"What are you talking about," she asked, suddenly interested.

Griffin sighed and smiled. "Girls like Sam have to be mean and defensive, always on guard for fear someone will use them. You, you don't have to worry. You're good girl Carly Shay, no one would want to hurt you. They know better than that...and besides, you'd cry a river and pout." He laughed and expected her to and when she didn't he apologized. "I'm just saying that you have it all compared to Sam, don't be so hard on her."

"You know she still loves you, right?" Her voice was monotonous, bored with him already, bored with his ideas of her.

"She does? Wow, man, that's good to hear. I just- Sam's not you. And she made me burn my PeeWee babies so I'm kinda pissed at her too." He looked serious for a second before looking at her again. "Look, can I just-"

Before he finished, his lip were on hers. They were soft, moist even. She couldn't help but hold on to him and let his tongue invade her mouth. She missed kissing Griffin, being with Griffin- she didn't miss being Griffin's girlfriend though. She could see why Sam fell so hard for him though.

"What was that for," came her breathless voice.

"I've missed you, Carly. I mean, sure you were a douche but I have a heart and it belongs to you."

"But, it's been like two years. You have to move on, I-"

He shook his head and took a deep breath. "You moved on, I know. But look at it this way, now that Freddie is over you, you can fall back on me, ya know?"

"Fuck off! Take yourself and your ideas and opinions and just shove them somewhere. Freddie is **not** over me, okay? I'll have you know, we might start dating. And you're icky for wanting me when Sam's so in love with you!" She stood there waiting, waiting for him to apologize, waiting for him to scoop her up and kiss her again just cause.

"You're being a real bitch for no reason, Carls. No wonder I gave up on instant messaging you." He began to walk off, mumbling to himself. She walked up to him, feeling kind of stupid for getting so worked up.

"Sorry, Griffin, or maybe I'm not- I don't know. But, you've been messaging me," she asked, her thoughts going back to the convo with Nathaniel. "Was that you, were you Nathaniel?"

Griffin looked confused before shaking his head. "I have a friend named Nathaniel who I told about you. Why, he say something?"

She quickly shook her head and shrugged.

"Well, you don't wanna be with me and that's fine. Just, just don't be such a jerk to me. Or I'll throw a PeeWee baby at you," he said laughing causing her to crack a smile. "You looked really beautiful on the webshow yesterday," he whispered in her ear as they embraced. She looked up at him and let his lips meet hers again, feeling as if she wasn't herself.

She felt herself changing from good girl Carly Shay to someone she didn't know.

--------

"You sure your Mom won't be back for a while," she asked breathlessly against his skin. He was laying down on top of her and she didn't have the nerve to piss him off. She was a big girl, she could handle it- whatever it was.

"Yeah," he answered almost too quickly. His hands began to roam under her shirt and she shifted uncomfortably, not sure what he was trying to do. Sure she'd masturbated a couple of times thinking about this with him but she didn't know it'd be this intense. "How bad do you want me?"

She almost laughed out loud. What a stupid question. She didn't _really_ want him. Not like that. She just-If Sam could do it, so could she. And it'd be their little secret, her and Griffin's. "Um, I want you so bad," she whispered as he kissed her neck. His hard on was basically stabbing at her crotch area and it kind of hurt. "So, you and Sam do this before?"

He didn't stop to answer her, just kept kissing her neck and trying to take off her bra in a hurry.

"Griffin," she asked, her voice getting deeper and filled with worry. "Answer me," she yelled, pushing him off long enough to sit up.

"Wha- No, Sam never let me do this with her. We didn't do anything." He sighed and began to remove his jacket, eying her like she was a dead carcass and he was a starving lion. "She's more of a prude than you." He smiled before getting back on top of her, his hands roaming up her skirt trying to remove her panties. "Are you getting wet?"

Her eyes grew wide and she froze. Was she seriously about to give herself to Griffin, the boy she dumped because he liked PeeWee babies, the guy she only liked because he was a bad boy? It was just sex, wasn't it? She could do this with him, she could be **bad**. "Oh, Griffin, I'm so wet for you," she heard herself say as his hands found her clit. She gasped at the sensation. It felt different for a guy to touch her there. "Is this- Is it gonna hurt? Cause I don't tolerate pain well."

He smirked and took off his shirt, kissing her after he was done. "I'll be gentle, I promise."

She backed away a bit, trying to stall. What the fuck was she doing? She was supposed to be in school, not in Griffin's room getting half naked. "That's nice and all but I'm gonna go." She tried to get up but he held her down, his budge digging into her crotch harder. "Griff- Get off of me, okay?" Carly began to get panicky. In the movies, when the guy didn't immediately let up, the girl got raped and her whole life was never the same. She bit his lip when he tried to kiss her and pushed him off of her. "I changed my mind! You're a creep!"

Carly grabbed her jacket and tote bag, heading towards the door when Griffin yelled out her name. She turned around and sighed. "Don't ever speak to me again, okay? Just go back to Sam and leave me alone."

"Fuck, you're such a prude. Relax sometime, it'll do you some good."

"Relax? You call having sex with you relaxing?" Her voice came out high and shrill. Now that she'd said the word, she realized how big this would've been had she given in to him. "Look, I don't know what's going on right now-"

"You're such a prude. Freddie doesn't want you so you think you can run back to me. Well, you're wrong! I'm going back to Sam and I hope Freddie goes back to some girl that isn't you." He took her by the arm and led her to the door. "Oh, and don't worry about anyone finding out about this. No one would believe a goody two shoes like you would do something like that with a guy like me...now get out!" With that he shut the door in he face, leaving her on the other side of the door, on the other side of his heart, alone and broken inside once again.

She looked at her watch and took a deep breath, fighting away the tears. School wasn't anyway near over and she couldn't run home to Spencer and explain why she wasn't at school or why her clothes were messed up. But she was a good girl, at least that's what Griffin had said, and good girls don't skip school or hook up with boys.

So she did something a good girl would do, she went home and ran into her room, ignoring Spencer and his false adult concern. She didn't need him and his rules anymore, she just needed her tears to wash away the pain she couldn't escape.


	5. Chapter Five

**Warning: **this chapter is _loooong_. Enjoy.

* * *

She didn't want to come out of her room. She hadn't in days. There was something happening within her, a change she couldn't pinpoint. Spencer noticed. Carly could hear him voice his concern to Granddad on the phone, who gladly offered to drive up there to let her live in Yakima. "A change of scenery is what she needs, Spence," she could imagine him saying, "Yakima is a _great_ place." She rolled her eyes at the thought. No great place would ever be called Yakima.

Carly hadn't completed shut herself off from the world. Spencer slid notes under her door, begging her to come out. He never did the smart thing and just jimmied the lock. He let her have her privacy and she thanked him for that inside. Of course, she'd tip toe downstairs in the dead of night and nibble on something in the fridge. And sometimes, she'd call Freddie only to get his voicemail. She needed someone to be there for her, someone to explain what she felt inside and since Sam hated her, she figured she had Freddie. She was wrong.

She hadn't seen Freddie since the day she skipped, the day she fooled around with Griffin. Spencer still didn't know about that but he did know she'd skipped and he had ripped her to shreds about it before letting her run crying to her room where she'd been for three days. Her school work was piling up and without Freddie or Sam to study with, she'd given up on doing it. Hell, she couldn't even reach Wendy who was almost always not busy and willing to help her.

Carly sighed in defeat, feeling restless yet tired. Tomorrow was Monday, a fresh new day at school, a day she dreaded but knew she had to get through.

iCarly was pretty much over and done with. Freddie and Sam hadn't made any effort to speak to her and she wasn't surprised seeing as though she'd basically walked around half naked on the last show. Nevel had given rave reviews and begged her to make more shows wearing just a bikini but she'd almost puked in her mouth reading the email and just shut down her laptop to keep from ranting.

She saw that Spencer had slipped a note underneath the door, telling her he'd let her mellow out long enough and that it was time to talk about what had been bothering her. If she hadn't been so wrapped in the covers, she'd never have known it was daylight outside. The sun stung as the rays hit her face but she shook it off and got up. What could she say to him?

_"Spencer, I hate my life. I hate living in this nice loft with you and I hate my friends who are always there for me, and I hate my successful web show that has more than 10,000 viewers!"_

No matter what she said to reason with him, that's all he'd hear- a whiny teen girl being ungrateful.

And that's basically what she felt like.

-----------------

"Spencer, hear me out please," she begged as he paced.

"Hear you out? You just told me you don't care about your life. Carly, do you know how that sounds? You used to be so happy. What hap-?"

Carly stood up and faced Spencer. "What happened? Spencer, life happened! Or better yet, it hasn't. I'm sick of the same routine, I need something different okay?." She shrugged and figured it was best to give up. There was no use in fighting over how she felt. "Ya know what, just leave it. I'll go back to school, I'll do my homework and be the good girl everyone loves. God forbid if I'm the real me!"

"No, don't you run back up to your room. I'm talking to you, Carly." Spencer pointed at the seat, indicating for her to sit back down. She wouldn't. "Please Carly, I- I don't know how to help you. We barely talk anymore. We used to be so- I mean, you used to confide in me." His voice was softer, full of remorse and defeat. "Just tell me what's wrong. I won't scream, I promise."

But Carly wasn't having it. She slowly retreated back to her room and crawled into bed, feeling as if no one understood her because she barely understood herself.

-----------------

"Carly, where ya been?"

"You missed the test, you been sick?"

"Yo Carly, hey girl. Want some help studying?"

Random voices called out to her until she heard one she knew.

"Carls, hey, I've been trying to reach you-"

Carly rolled her eyes and opened her locker. She was tired, sleepy, apathetic and bitchy. "Shove it, Freddie. Seriously, I don't need your fake sympathy. I'm sure you've been with Sam the whole weekend."

"Look, I'm really getting sick of you saying shit like that. I _don't_ like Sam." His usual calm voice was a bit more assertive.

"Well, ya know what," she almost screamed at him before stopping, realizing she probably annoyed him to death. No wonder he seemed tired of her. "If you do, it's okay. I'm completely over it."

Freddie untensed and took a deep breath. "Okay, well, I've been calling you all weekend. Spencer told me not to come over because you needed some privacy so I just had tick baths and homework everyday." He shrugged when she frowned. "So, I'm sure you got some make up work. Need help?"

Carly looked at him in shock. She'd been a bitch to him, completely shoving her belief that he had to hate Sam if she did and here he was being sweet, cute Freddie. "Yeah, um, you can come over after school. I'd like that."

He smiled at her and then said he'd see her later. So he had tried to see her. It made her smile a bit, until she saw Sam walk by giving her the death glare. Carly rolled her eyes and turned up her nose at her former friend. It was her turn to be happy while Sam sat back being jealous.

What Sam wouldn't know wouldn't hurt her and although Carly wasn't proud of her tryst with Griffin, at least he was one more boy that favored her over the abrasive blonde.

-----------------

Books sprawled on the floor in the iCarly studio, Freddie tried helping Carly catch up with her Geometry. It wasn't working, seeing as though she wouldn't focus and kept leaning into him.

"Carly, you feeling okay?"

She giggled and turned the page of her book. "Yeah, right as rain. Why?"

Freddie smiled and shrugged. "You just seemed to be out of it for a while. I'm glad you're back." He then opened up his notebook to show her how to divide fractions when he noticed she'd frozen in place. "Hey, what's the matter now?"

"I'm back? Freddie, I never left. You act like aliens came and took me away." Her voice was defensive and her eyes searched his for any sign of what he meant. "I've always been me. I didn't change!" She bit her lip and looked away before looking back at him. "Of course, I'm _changing_ but its not that bad. I like the new me and if you don't then- oh, just get out!" She folded her arms and expected him to apologize and beg to stay but he didn't. He got his stuff and left without a word.

Carly got up, tears hot on her face, the events that had happened over the past weeks replaying in her mind. She felt like a bitch but what could she do? Sit back and let Sam take all the boys? Sit back and let Freddie leave her behind when she had no one else left to trust?

She was pacing so fast she almost didn't notice her laptop going off. She had a Wahoo! message from Freddie. Carly hadn't even noticed her laptop was on. _'__Carly, I'm sorry if what I said set you off. I just feel like you need more time alone with your thoughts. Talk to you later, okay?'_

She clicked out and noticed she had another message, one from Nathaniel. She didn't even read it but instead deleted it and read her others from people she didn't know.

_'hey, you so sexy. call me sometime. i'll email you my numba.'_

_'damn, i'd fuck you so hard baby, get at me!'_

_'you're really pretty. i live in seattle too so hit me up if you wanna talk or ya know, other stuff.'_

_'omg, you're such a whore carly. i hate your show, put some clothes on'_

_'why no more icarly? i liked watching you prance around. you hotter than that blonde dyke.'_

Some made her smile, others made her roll her eyes. The girls who'd called her a whore were just jealous. That had to be it. She was pretty, boys sure did think so. And they wanted to see more of her, much more. What if she left iCarly and just went solo? She could get Freddie to help- well, she didn't need him anymore. She was her own person. She could handle it all her own.

If they wanted to see her, all of her, why should she deny them? At least they wouldn't bitch and nag about her changing or talk about how they liked the old Carly. Maybe she could stay the old Carly and just become someone else. Someone no one would know about except her. Smiling, she grabbed her camera and turned it on. She'd be careful, really careful. And it wouldn't hurt to take harmless little pictures right?

*click* She turned it around so she could see her face on the LCD screen. Pale, dark black hair and red lips. Raven. There. That was what the new Carly was, a raven flying away from the troubles of everyday life. Flying away and landing in a place where she was loved by all. She'd make a new email and lie about her age and location. There, simple.

Raven, the new Carly, she thought to herself as she undressed and took a deep breath. She couldn't wait to hear what the guys had to say when she sent them this. Making sure to hide her face, she snapped a picture of her breasts-just as a test, to see if they'd like it.

And just like it was over and done with. No turning back, no matter how far gone she'd become.


	6. Chapter Six

Although she'd sat in the third row of her Calculus class since the beginning of the semester, walking into class that morning seemed alien to her. Carly almost didn't identify her seat knowing the spot behind it wasn't full of Freddie. Opening her notebook, the formulas that presented themselves to her seemed other-worldly. She hadn't studied, she hadn't even remembered she had a Calculus class.

All Carly could think about was her debut, the nude pics she'd posted of herself online and the response she'd gotten. She was sorta famous, more so than her being on iCarly. Of course the pics weren't of _her, _they were of Raven. Raven was the alter ego she'd created when taking the naked picture. It was an impulse thing. All the fuckery going on in her little world had her head spinning and as crazy as it seemed, the only way to see straight was for her to be someone else- even if it meant being reckless and seeking the shallow approval of guys online.

Rolling her eyes and flipping through her notes, barely paying attention to her class, Carly smirked to herself. Hey, maybe even Griffin had seen her pics.

The bell rang and the hallway filled with the chaotic chatter of 11th graders gossiping. Carly made her way to her locker in a huff. She hadn't seen Freddie or Sam all day and she'd hoped they were at her locker waiting for her. She was wrong. They weren't at her locker, they weren't at his locker and they weren't at Sam's locker. On her way to Groovy Smoothie, to buy a Blueberry Blitz for Spencer, she saw them. Normally she'd say Sam and Freddie but in the stance they were in, they were a _them. _Her suspicions had been right all along. Freddie, the lovable tech nerd she'd always assumed would be her back up plan was kissing Sam. Not only was he kissing her, she was kissing him back. This wasn't a "let's do this just cause" kiss. It was a "we love each other secretly, I need you" kiss.

If she'd been one to make a scene she'd march up to them and pour Spencer's smoothie down Sam's shirt then smack Freddie hard. But she wasn't. She should've seen this coming. They'd both been avoiding her and who could blame them? Carly had been a bitch. She'd been distant yet needy and confusing to the point of being unbearable. Of course Sam and Freddie would be kissing. Of course they'd be in love. They hated each other. But at this point, they probably hated her more.

Biting her lip and staring though the glass door, she knew she should walk away. She didn't count for shirtless Gibby to see her, pull her inside and introduce her to the gang. Her old gang.

"Car-lay! Why don't you have a seat?" Leave it to Gibby to forget just a few weeks ago she'd screamed at him for simply saying hey to her.

"Oh, I'll just have a seat somewhere else," she timidly said while avoiding eye contact. "Ya know, at my house, far away from here..."

Sam calmly stopped sucking face with Freddie and wiped her lips. She didn't look smug, or caught. She just looked like regular ole Sam. "Or you can sit with us, ya know, your kinda friends."

A silence fell over the shop as everyone waited for Carly's response. As she opened her mouth to speak, Freddie got up and went over to her side. "Carly can sit here, between me and Sam." He was nervous and as he led her to her seat Carly couldn't help but notice how sexy his hair looked ruffled up.

Desperate to get the hell out of there, she decided to make small talk instead of coming off as a cold bitch. "So, how about that Calculus class? Man, I didn't remember it being that hard."

A few kids chimed in agreement with Carly, as she caught Sam eying her. "Freddrina hasn't said anything about Calculus to me. He says Trigonometry is way harder. Not like I'll ever take it." She laughed and playfully poked Freddie, like they were a couple and it was their thing- to poke each other.

"Ah, c'mon Sam, I didn't want to drop Calculus but the opportunity presented itself and-"

"You couldn't wait to get the hell away for me, huh, Fred**drina**?" Her own voice shocked even her, the bitterness within it.

She got up and rushed out of there, forgetting about blueberries and blitzes until she got home. Sitting in her room, she eagerly checked on her pictures. She'd had 10 new comments, the same generic praise of some probably 40 year old virgin living in his mom's basement. This wasn't enough. She wanted action. Carly wanted a guy, preferably Freddie, making out with her like she'd seen Sam being made out with.

"CARLY, you have company," came Spencer's loud voice behind her door. He'd long since forgiven her for their argument and promised to give her the space a girl her age needed.

Basically, he had no idea how to 'fix' her and was letting her deal with it herself.

Standing at her front door was none other than Sam, her best friend once upon a time ago. "Got any mouthwash? Kissing Freddrake is like murder to my taste buds."

Sam briskly walked right past her and began snooping in the kitchen. As if they'd hadn't been at each other's throats lately.

"You can't just walk in after making out with Freddie, demanding to use my mouth wash!" Carly shut the front door and grabbed Sam's arm. "Go ask him for his!" She dropped the blonde's arm suddenly when she felt flush taking in her appearance. Sam was wearing a dress again, one that really flattered her curves. Her hair was up and she was wearing a really fruity lip gloss that Carly found herself wanting to taste.

Sam rolled her eyes. "Carly, look, I'm not one to grovel or be nice but- what happened to us? Me, you and Freddie? We used to be friends. We used to have **fun**. iCarly is in the shits, you and I are basically having a war- I had to freaking french Freddie in public-"

"He's your boyfriend, you're supposed to kiss," Carly snapped, eying the deep v in Sam's dress for a moment.

"Freddie's just different, ya know? I still kinda don't get the whole PDA thing," Sam smiled and sat on the couch, crossing her legs, "At the risk of being beheaded, I can say 'Yes, Carly, Freddie and I are indeed dating.' But I wasn't kidding about that mouthwash."

Feeling as if she'd been stabbed in the chest, Carly sat next to Sam and sighed. So this was it. If she resorted back to the trio that once was, she'd be stuck with watching the unlikely couple make out and be the 3rd wheel. "I guess congratulations are in order then." She sat there with a blank stare before hugging Sam, letting the warmth travel all over her body, inhaling the scent of her rebel bff. "But promise I won't be the single cat lady when you two go down the aisle."

They both laughed and hugged again, not believing how easy it was for them to move on and let everything fade away. This was Carly's reality: she wasn't adored by Freddie anymore, Sam was dating the guy she used to beat on for ages and she thought Sam looked hott in that dress in a way that wasn't heterosexual.

Raven's reality on the other hand was way more thrilling. She didn't need to date her neighbor or envy her best friend; she was the one who was envied and lusted after.

Tonight, Carly knew the perfect way to get Raven the action she so desperate craved but maybe she could wait a while before introducing a busty blonde into the mix. She didn't want her audience pulling a Freddie and letting her down too.


	7. Chapter Seven

This was their 3rd double date. She always felt so stupid going through with it because she didn't even _like_ Harper that way. He was incredibly sweet and she loved the song he'd made for her but he was more friend material than boyfriend. He understood that she'd only said yes to him asking her out the first two times because she didn't want to be alone with Sam and Freddie but now it was getting sad. She hated to string him along because she couldn't stomach her best friend's happiness.

Sam and Freddie sat across from them, giggly and barely taking their eyes off each other.

All those times she asked Freddie if he'd liked Sam and he denied it. Now look at him, completely in love with her as she sat there feigning interest in Harper.

"So then I said 'S&M sounds like the perfect song for you!" Everyone laughed like it was funniest thing in the world but all Carly could think about was how Sam went from beating Freddie up to kissing on him. It just didn't seem right.

"Well the other day, I did find handcuffs in my mom's closet." Sam giggled and rolled her eyes as Freddie blushed at her joke.

Harper decided to wink at Carly again and she blushed, laughing a little. Anything to keep from having to indulge in this conversation. It's not like she wanted Freddie to herself anymore, she was over that. She had her own admirers on the internet who were more than willing to adore her. She just didn't like seeing him with Sam. She didn't like knowing they'd kept something so huge from her for their own selfish reasons. She hated that Freddie felt he had to lie about it just to spare her feelings.

"Hey, how about we hit up the hot tub at my place later," Harper asked out of nowhere. Carly almost choked on her Sprite. Hot tub, with Sam and Freddie? The last thing she wanted was to see them half naked and groping each other. Her eyes went wide and the gang stared at her.

"Oh, but I don't have a swimsuit. It's quite chilly, I wouldn't want to freeze," she said hurriedly. "I guess we'll do it some other time."

Sam laughed and rolled her eyes. "Maybe we shouldn't bring swim suits."

...

It wasn't quite dark out but it was still cold. Carly wrapped the towel around her like she wanted it to melt into her skin. This wasn't necessarily skinny dipping but she was only in her bra and panties. She didn't anyone seeing her like that, not her friends. The others were already in the hot tub. She heard Harper call her name and cursed herself for even coming.

"In a minute!" She put her hair up into a bun, held the towel against her body and walked out.

Freddie raised his glass of grape juice and cheered. "Yay, she finally made it!"

Carly rolled her eyes and laughed despite herself. "Harhar."

Harper smiled up at her. "Well, you gonna get in or stand there in the cold?" He grabbed a glass and handed it to her. She took a sip and got into the hot tub, her towel tossed aside. She noticed how it didn't taste quite like grape juice at all. "It's something I got from the fridge, no alcohol I promise."

Nodding, Carly took a deep breath and got adjusted to the water. Harper splashed her a little bit and she gasped in surprise. "Hey, what's that for?"

"You've been so closed off tonight. Have a little fun, live a little," he replied.

"Yeah," Sam agreed, "C'mon, we're naked in a hot tub for pete's puss."

Naked. Sam was naked? Carly's grew hot and she felt Freddie staring at her curiously. "You okay? I mean, we're not gonna touch you while we're naked." That made it even worse. All these thoughts went through Carly's mind about Freddie being naked and on top of her, then making out naked with Sam. She grabbed her glass and almost choked trying to drink it all at once. Whatever it was, hopefully it'd help loosen her up.

She was okay with being naked on camera because her face wasn't in the picture and no one had to know it was her. She couldn't possibly get naked around Sam and Freddie. Especially not Harper. What if he preferred sneaking glances at Sam while she was sitting there?

"Oh thank God, I'm not into threesomes," she heard Harper say and they all laughed. Hers was fake and rushed, she hoped no one noticed.

"Carly's too virginal for that, Fredward. Don't scare the girl with your words."

Her, virginal? Well sure. The farthest she'd gone with a guy was that day with Griffin that she grew to regret but Sam teasing her about it, like being pure was a curse? She didn't quite like it.

"Well I've done a lot of stuff, okay? Just, ya know, I'm classy about it." She could be a sass master when she wanted to.

Freddie opened his mouth in surprise. "God, Carly, she didn't mean to upset you."

"Yeah well, just so you know, I'm not little miss innocent." She crossed her arms and tried not to pout.

Harper was staring at her like she was the most desirable thing he'd ever seen. "Is that so?" Something in his voice was teasing but in a good way. He didn't believe her. Who would? She'd only had one boyfriend and to everyone's knowledge all they'd done is kiss.

Sam scoffed and her voice took a taunting tone. "Care to prove it?"

Carly smirked as she began to take her bra off underwater. When she raised it above her head, the look one everyone's face was priceless. Good girl Carly Shay, topless in a hot tub. So much for virginal.

"Wow, your tits are out," Sam teased. "So edgy." Freddie nudged her as a way to tell her to stop but she rolled her eyes. "Do something really wild for once."

Before she could say more, Carly leaned over and caught Sam's lips in a kiss. The blonde gasped and Carly slipped her tongue in. As soon as it started, it was over. She went back to her spot with a smug grin. Sam sat there, eyes wide.

"That wild enough, Puckett?"

...

When Carly got home that night, her phone was full of missed calls from Spencer and texts saying 'Where are you?'. She unlocked the door to find him sitting on the couch waiting for her.

"Hey, I had my phone on silent so-"

Spencer got up and crossed his arms. "Where the hell were you? I was worried sick! I tried calling Freddie and Sam, no answers. Ms. Benson almost called the cops."

"Calm down, I was out being a good girl. Quit your worrying, okay?" Carly tried to walk past him but he stopped her.

"A good girl doesn't come home soaking wet with wine on her breath." He sighed and sat down again. "I know you're growing up and maybe there are things an older brother shouldn't know, but I just want the best for you. I know you're getting older and might want a boyfriend really bad but-"

Carly looked away and felt like running upstairs. She didn't want to know where Spencer was headed with this.

"Just promise me it won't happen again. I'd like to know you're not like those other girls, being all wild and reckless. You should focus on your education, ya know?"

She crossed her arms in defiance. "Right, which is why you left law school after 3 days?"

Spencer stood up again and rolled his eyes before putting his hands on his hips. "Listen to me, I just don't want you being in a rush to grow up. Griffin came by and said all this sh-stuff about you and it just really got under my skin. I almost knocked him out."

"Griffin? What stuff? Spencer, I haven't talked to him since the break up, you know that."

"Yeah well, that's the thing. I never thought I'd get to a point where I couldn't trust you. It's 3 A.M. and you're just now getting home. I don't know where you were, who you were really with. Maybe he was lying, but maybe not."

Carly felt herself tearing up. "So you're saying I'm a slut now, is that it?"

Spencer shook his head. "No! Nobody is saying that. I know how guys can be about girls when they've been dumped, when they wanted to have sex with her and couldn't. They say stupid things and spread her name around and I just don't want that for you." He took a deep breath and stared at his little sister. "I'm glad you're okay and safe. You can't be so naive with guys, Carly. Things happen."

Carly nodded and went to hug her brother. He hugged her and pat her head before pulling away.

"Why _are_ you wet exactly? Did you go skinny dipping, Carly? With Griffin? I swear if you did-"

"No, the sprinklers. Ya know, Sam hates swimming so we ran through them in her neighbor's yard," she lied. "I lost track of time, I didn't think it was a big deal."

Spencer didn't look that convinced but it was late and she knew he was too tired to keep talking about it. "Explain the wine breath."

"I got thirsty and you know Sam's mom, never any Peppy Cola in the fridge. I honestly thought it was Kool-aid." She smiled at him and that seemed to do the trick. "I'm sorry, really. I'll call next time, okay? I'll be home by 10 from now on, promise."

Her brother smiled and seemed reassured that everything had been just a misunderstanding.

As she got ready for bed, Carly made sure to take a few pictures of herself in her soaked bra and without. She was perfectly good at being bad and none the wiser.


End file.
